Explanations
by skipmcgee
Summary: Sometimes the explanation is half the fun.


**Title**: Explanations

**Author**: Skt23

**Genre**: Harry/Ron, 3rd Person POV, (hopefully) humorous.

**Rating**: PG-13 - R (for implications)

**Warnings/Spoilers**: Nada for both

**Word Count**: 2220

**Summary**: Sometimes hearing the explanation is half the fun.

**A/N**: This is just a silly bit of fun from yet _another_ POV (3rd person POVs are like a never-ending well of ideas). I had a good time imagining the beginning bit, and hopefully it isn't too cliched or sappy-sweet for happy consumption.

He had known there would be trouble from the minute he apparated into the Burrow; it was all in the way the house was so quiet. It was the calm before the storm - although he had yet to realize this was a natural occurrence of a different variety.

Charlie had been requested to bring information to his father, Dumbledore apparently needing to give him news about the Order. Charlie, recently returned from Romania for a dragon herders' convention in southern Scotland, had jumped at the opportunity to visit his family and help out the Order at the same time.

He had been wandering around the first floor, calling out people's names, and getting no response, when he had heard a rather loud bang above him. Thinking it was the twins in the middle of some experiment which would come _this_ close to blowing the house up, the walked up the stairs quietly, not wanting to interrupt them. It wasn't until he saw their door open, with, he noted, a rather unusual smell wafting from it, that he realized they weren't home. He had heard another noise then, a muffled voice, and had followed it gladly, relieved to have finally found someone.

He heard, rather than saw, Ron first.

"Bloody hell, Harry, that really hurt" Charlie tilted his head in concern, walking in the direction of the bathroom, where it sounded like Ron's voice was coming from. He thought he had heard someone snickering, and apparently he was right, because a moment later he heard Ron again.

"Oh shut up Harry. You wouldn't laugh if it was you" More snickering followed, then he heard Harry's voice, still imbued with laughter.

"But I wouldn't be stupid enough to try that when I know I don't have the balance to manage it" Charlie had finally reached the bathroom door and poked his head in to say hello, but the scene before him stopped him cold.

Both Ron and Harry were stark naked, sitting together in the empty tub. Both looked like they had just showered, and were dripping wet. Harry was leaning in very close to Ron, fingers carding through his hair as the red-head griped.

"Well, that's the last time I'm gonna try it at all, so you just go ahead and keep on laughing".

A moment later Ron yelped, jerking his head away from Harry's searching fingers. Harry sighed and reached out again, tilting Ron's head as he said "Stop moving and let me see". Ron snorted and replied "You don't even have your glasses on, how are you supposed to see anything?"

Harry leaned in close to Ron's head, squinting, the water running into his face from his hair making it even more difficult to see clearly. "I can see that lump, Ron. In fact, the only way you could miss it was if you were completely blind. You're lucky you didn't do some serious damage" Ron just muttered something that sounded vaguely accusatory before falling silent.

They were quiet for a moment, then Harry started to snicker again. Ron turned his head, glaring at Harry, and Charlie noticed that Harry's hands were still in Ron's hair. Ron didn't seem to mind. Harry grinned at Ron, saying "I do appreciate the gesture though- I mean, it was a good effort" Ron just said "shut up Harry" again, but this time a grin tugged at his lips. Then he leaned in close and the next thing Charlie knew his little brother was making out with The Boy Who Lived.

Charlie didn't remember saying anything, but the way the both of them jumped apart as if burnt seemed to indicate that whatever he had said was both loud and surprising. They both stared at Charlie, wide-eyed, as he stared back, equally shocked. Charlie blinked first, and said the first words that came to mind.

"What the hell?"

Ron and Harry seemed to still be shell-shocked, because they stared up at him from the bottom of the tub, mouths open, not making a sound. Charlie waved his hands at them and shook his head, saying "Hello?"

Harry was the first to recover, if only to turn bright red as he jumped up and lunged for the towels on the counter. He threw one at Ron and wrapped one around himself, saying in a surprisingly steady tone, "Hi, Charlie".

This seemed to snap Ron out of his stupor- or it could have been the towel in the face - but either way he scrambled up after Harry, haphazardly wrapping the towel around himself. He said a little breathlessly "What are you doing here?"

Charlie answered back without thought, "What the hell are you doing?" Ron opened his mouth to say something, shut it with an audible click, and stepped out of the tub with surprising dignity. He walked past Charlie, saying "We'll be right back" before continuing out of the room. Harry almost slipped he tried to climb out of the tub so fast, and practically ran after his friend, leaving Charlie stare at the door in utter confusion.

After a moment he went downstairs, checked the clock - something he realized he should have done when he _first_ came in, determined where everyone else was, and promptly sat and stared at the fireplace, his thoughts running in crooked circles. He was alone for quite some time, and came to the conclusion that he might not like this new development. It wasn't that Charlie didn't like Harry; on the contrary, he had hit it off with him immediately, and had grown to respect him after the Tri-Wizard tournament in the boys' 4th year. Harry was a good guy, and Charlie had nothing against him. It was just that, from what Charlie could tell, people around Harry seemed to end up maimed, injured, or dead. And as much as he liked the kid, this was his little brother, and he couldn't just let him get dragged off into danger because he wanted some action of a different kind.

But it wasn't as though this was a complete surprise, despite the fact that Charlie was so jarred by the actual visual. With a family as large and connected as his, word was bound to travel fast on certain subjects. He knew he wasn't supposed to know, but there had been rumblings about the nature of this very subject from everyone from Ginny to their mother. The twins were the experts of infiltration and information recovery, and they were more than happy to exchange information for certain - specialty - items Charlie could ship them from Romania.

But wherever he acquired the information from, Charlie had noticed it was all basically the same. The two boys were attached at the hip, had few short-lived relationships with girls, and an uncanny similarity in tastes and preferences. According to Fred, his mother had said that on some days it seemed like they were reading each others' minds. Fred had also given him the scoop on everyone's reactions, and it had made him determined that, if it were indeed true, he wouldn't respond like Percy had. Fred had told him about the letter Percy had written to Ron (although he wouldn't say _how_ he knew), and had said that Ron had been livid for days. He loved his youngest brother, but Ron had definitely inherited their mother's temper, and Charlie wasn't about to invoke such a reaction if at all avoidable.

Eventually both boys trudged downstairs, looking like martyrs on their way to be stoned to death; utterly petrified but prepared to die for their convictions. Charlie didn't even know where to begin. They had stared at each other for an undetermined amount of time, each one afraid to start the conversation down a path no one wanted to tread. Charlie saw Ron lick his lips, and he was the first to speak, which Charlie supposed was brave of him, even though he was looking at a point somewhere near his left ear.

"Umm, Charlie, about what you, um, saw up there...." As though the flood-gates had been opened, suddenly Charlie was full of questions.

"Do Mum and Dad know?" Both boys shook their heads in the negative, and Harry said hesitantly,

"No one really knows....at least, before now" Charlie nodded. Ron's voice pulled his gaze back to his brother.

"Actually, that's what we need to ask you...um, we were kind of, um, hoping to keep this a secret, you know?" Charlie had felt his gaze turn incredulous and both boys had blushed again.

"You want me to keep this a secret? You want me to lie to Mum and Dad? Are you crazy?" The boys looked at each other before shifting their eyes back to Charlie.

"Please Charlie, we really don't want everyone to know. They'd be..." Harry finished off Ron's thought.

"..Nosy"

Charlie just looked between the two of them, equal parts pissed off and amused. Trust Ron to end up having a secret relationship with the most famous person in the wizarding world. When he said as much Ron gave him a withering look, but only responded with "Well, will you do it or not?"

Charlie pretended to think it over, rough hands scratching his jaw while he made thoughtful noises. While Harry looked earnest Ron just shot Charlie an irritated look, clearly already aware that he was going to give in. When Charlie said "Alright," Harry seemed openly relieved, and even though Ron rolled his eyes Charlie could tell he was relieved as well. They both became infinitely more relaxed, at least until Charlie said "but I need to know a couple of things".

Ron quickly spat out "What kind of things?"

Charlie stood up and started slowly pacing the room, pausing every so often to look at the boys, who were now openly suspicious.

"Well, for starters, you can tell me what the hell happened when I first got here- I heard a bang" Both boys blushed darkly, Ron turning a shade of red that so perfectly matched his hair that had he not been a Weasley himself, Charlie could not have resisted teasing him for it. He knew exactly what his little brother had slipped trying to do, but watching him squirm was always good for a laugh.

"I was, um..."

"He was, was trying to kn...."

"Knee-kneel down, and um, I um, slipped and fell" Charlie had to turn around and begin pacing in the opposite direction, face averted, so they wouldn't see him barely retaining his laughter. At least they had the good sense to wait until everyone was out of the house to try experimenting with their sexual gymnastics, Charlie thought idly, thinking back several years to his brother Bill and that Swedish exchange student.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and wipe the grin off his face, he turned back to them with what was a hopefully serious expression. He looked them both in the eye and then said "Well, as I don't think we need to have the pregnancy talk-"

"Oh shove off Charlie"

"-I suppose the only thing to make sure is that you treat my brother right, okay Harry? No breaking his heart or I'll have to get the rest of my brothers together and show you what's what, alright?" Charlie continued as though he hadn't been interrupted, and after he finished he looked at Ron, who, if judging by his face, looked like he wanted to transform him into some kind of unnatural animal. He gave him an unapologetic grin.

Turning to look at Harry he saw a surprisingly serious expression on the boy's face. He raised an auburn eyebrow in curiosity. Harry stared at him and said solemnly "I would never _ever_ do that" Charlie could feel his other eyebrow joining the first one in trying to climb to his hairline, and he turned to look at Ron, who was blushing again. Charlie opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Ron said "I swear Charles if you say _one_ word I will-"Charlie held his hands out in silent supplication. And Harry just looked at Ron, a slightly confused expression on his face.

Ron rolled his eyes, grabbed Harry by the arm, and headed for the stairs, saying over his shoulder "Don't bother us for a while" Charlie snorted and rolled his eyes, although the latter was lost as his brother was half-way up the steps.

"You got a lot to learn, Ron. But don't worry, I'll tell Bill and the twins to fill you in on _everything_ you'll need to know" and then he apparated to the sound of feet pounding back down the stairs.

T

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End file.
